Inside Job

Care and natural remedies in the healing process. Digital illustration.Most of my life I’ve had at least some level of anxiety that the external world knew something about me that I did not know about myself. Something I needed to know. But didn’t.

Something about that always nagged at me. This way of having to listen to someone else tell me what was right for me. I couldn’t imagine that our Great Creator would do that to me (or us). I mean, what if that person who knew something about me that I needed to know died before they told me?! Or just simply forgot to tell me?!? Things just weren’t adding up…

None of this has anything to do with my food/health journey. Except that it does.

I mean, is it plausible to you that you have to look externally for how to measure out the right amounts and kinds of foods, proportion them, restrict yourself from a second helping when you’re still hungry, count calories? That we don’t inherently know how to effortlessly achieve and maintain a healthy weight? Me neither!!

But I guess I’d never really thought about it before and I went about the business of listening to the world tell me to eat lots of whole grains and low fat. That a calorie is a calorie.

And in the mean time 40-plus years went by and, you know, whatever happens happened.

So when I reached my health low, I did what I had always done and searched externally for the answers. But I kept being led back to meditation. To being still. To turning my ear inward. Everywhere I looked for answers, this is what I got. It was kind of infuriating. If I knew the damn answers, I would not be looking elsewhere for them! But the message never changed.

I was hard-headed about it for a long time. I was not doing that!

And then, eventually, there was nothing else to do.

So I did it.

I’ll be honest. At first, it hurt. OK, for a long time it hurt. My inner me was a little mad that I had been so aloof, so dismissive for so many years.

My inner me made me wait a while.

But with time I started hearing the voice of my inner knowing. The only voice that knows what is right for me. And what I kept hearing was  “Start over with food.”

This meant erasing what the external world was telling me. This meant going somewhat rouge with food. This meant, quite possibly, that a calorie was not a calorie!

I turned conventional wisdom on its head. Not because I am a rebel (which we will NOT debate here) but because my inner knowing said I had to if I wanted to be well.

I started opening up to new & different.

I sourced my food and ate from the earth. It just seemed right. It was the only thing I knew to do without someone else telling me.

I reconsidered my beliefs about the purpose of everything. And a lot changed (including a sense of peace about eating animals that I’d never before had).

Because I couldn’t deal with food labels (too externally driven), I quit buying foods with labels. To this day, I bring you a wealth of information about real food but maintain a bit of a gap in knowledge when it comes to food prepared by someone other than myself (if you’ve asked me about Lara bars you know this is true). It ceased to make sense to me to eat it (for now, anyway), so I quit eating it.

That’s what I heard from the inside.

I let my body tell me what to eat. And I’ll be damned if it’s not working!

Who knew I already knew?!

I’m not saying that everything I now know about nutrition, I already knew. To the contrary. I’ve done A LOT of research. With the caveat that information has to pass my gut check (in more ways than one!).

This is why I am so reluctant to tell you what to eat. This is why I don’t like prescribed diets. You could eat exactly what I eat and not have even close to the same results. This is because I do not know what you need to eat! I do not even know what you want to eat! And, despite what the external world might be telling you, what you want to eat really matters!

Only you know what you need to eat. There. The cat’s out of the bag. This is up to you.

I’ve got a lot of information. But only you have your answers.

So, if listening to your inner knowing is rouge and makes me a rebel, whutev…

Because I’ve never not portioned foods &  not worried about my weight. NEVER.

Until I went rouge. Until I found my inner rebel and let her skinny butt out!





1 Comment

  1. Your commentary will ring true for many many people, including me.
    I hope that many who are struggling will read it.
    Thanks— and I “like” your site!!!!!! Somers

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